Do I have to?

I think I do.

I have to say, sorry.

Sorry for complaining so much lately.  What the heck is wrong with me?

When I read back over some of my posts lately I thought, geez, what a jerk.  What a stupid jerk.  What am I complaining about?

My children are healthy.  I’m doing well.  I haven’t had any heart issues or been in the hospital for 15 months now.  My husband gets better and better everyday.  Even after a very hard road we’ve had.  Our families are healthy.  Life is good.  Ya know, I’m really blessed.  I KNOW that…

But I wasted a lot of breath and space whining about being tired and having too much to do.

The truth is, nobody said life was easy.  God has a plan for me.  And what would I learn or where would I be if there were no struggles in getting there, wherever “there” is?

There are tiny little joys in each and every day – bits of heaven all the time.  But if I keep whining so much – I’m going to miss them.

I always thought I was the kind of Mom that could do it all.  I just can’t so I’m going to let the stupid stuff go and let the good stuff in more often.  More hugs.  More kisses.  More messes.  More of taking in the moments before they are gone.

Sounds so cliché, doesn’t it?  And I’m pretty sure I’ve said it before.  At least twice.  Probably more.

But it’s true.  I’m not getting any younger.  Neither are my kids.  Life is short.  I don’t want to miss a single day God has prepared for me.  I have to live more deliberately than that – I need to, I deserve to, I was made to…

I was thinking about that when I left my art class tonight.  My sister was 15 when she died.  I was a year older than little Sprout is now when she passed.  She never got to do any of the things I’m so privileged to do.  So how can I complain?  Just stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

This blog is more than just a crafty how to kind of a place.  It’s my space.  A place for me to…to be me.  Take it or leave it.

Now excuse me, I have some quality snow time to spend with my family out back on our sledding hill.  The Two Peas can’t get enough of it and you can’t hardly get them to come in.  Little Sprout can’t stop saying “wheeeee!” and “no” for snow.  It’s up to her waist…around 45″ they said we’ve had so far…fun way to spend February. And we have an entire weekend of celebrations planned.  I’m the mother of soon to be 9 year old identical twin girls.  Couldn’t be anything better.  I’m lucky blessed enough to have them all – I’ll try better not to forget that and how special my job of “Mom” really is.




3 Responses

  1. yeah, your sun has broken through!
    don’t knock yourself out. we all have gloomy days. sometimes more than we want in a row. But it makes the sunny days much more appreciated!

  2. It’s alright Trish, we all have a little whine once in awhile no matter how nice our lives are when we compare them to the lives of others. I’ve been whiney all week since I’ve been so sick and have been having to do schoolwork during the break, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know my life isn’t pretty good in general!

    I love Sprout all bundled up – she looks so cute! Actually, it kind of reminds me of Ralphie’s younger brother in A Christmas Story where he’s so bundled up that he can’t put his arms down! Sprout is much cuter though!

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